


TEAM KTEN JOINS THE FRAY!

by ValorousOwl



Series: Alternian Fleet Records (Gross Trolls Memos) [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AMA, Beheading, Bishounen, Blood, Decapitation, Gore, Gun Violence, Hanging, Legislacerator Terezi, Multi, Threshecutioner Karkat, Violence, alternian propaganda, criminal eridan, executions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 14:12:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16996530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValorousOwl/pseuds/ValorousOwl
Summary: Banner for the Series, Featuring 4 of the Trolls. Please ask them anything in the comments, we'll try to answer as many questions as possible.





	TEAM KTEN JOINS THE FRAY!

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now online--

 

CG: WELL, LOOKS LIKE I'VE GOT A FUCKING MINUTE ON MY HANDS FOR ONCE IN THIS MISERABLE CYCLE. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, I'D SAY IT NOW. 

CG: ROLE CALL, WHO THE FUCK ELSE IS HERE? 

  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now online--

 

GC:1 C3RT41NLY H4V3 MOR3 TH4N 3NOUGH T1M3 ON MY H4NDS CURR3NTLY.  


\--caligulasAquarium [CA] is now online--

 

CA: speak for yourselvves, some of us havve real problems!   


CG: SO IT SEEMS! I HEAR YOU'RE NOOK-DEEP IN SOME KIND OF EASILY AVOIDABLE TROUBLE AGAIN, THE KIND OF TROUBLE YOU WOULDN'T BE IN IF YOU WEREN'T USUALLY ENGAGED IN SOME FORM OF FUCKING _TREASON._

CG: DON'T YOU HAVE ANY OF YOUR """"TEAMMATES"""" TO HELP YOU?

CA: Vvris ran off somewwhere, but it's not like the ship left, she wwould nevv

CA: wwell, no, let's face it she wwould in a second. but I havve her "8ooty" so she ain't goin far.  


GC: YOU KNOW, 3R1D4N, YOU WOULDN'T H4V3 SO MANY 1SSU3S 1F YOU D1DN'T FOLLOW VRISK4 4ROUND L1K3 4 LOST B4RKB34ST WH3LP >:]

CA: i'd tell you to mind your owwn business, but wwhen havve any of you evver listened to me?

GC: N3V3R H4V3, N3V3R W1LL! 

CG: I MEAN, WE MIGHT LISTEN IF YOU EVER GET A GOOD IDEA. 

CA: hat's big talk coming from you, kar. Howw many wwere _you_ up against this time? I'm sure you stolled your happy mutant ass up to one one of the splinter groups, just got yourself all nice and comfortable before givvin the spiel. 

CA: "OH HEY FUCKFACES, YOU WANNA DO THE EMPIRE A FAVOR AND FALL ON MY SICKLE REAL QUICK? THAT'D BE FUCKING _VANTAS_ TIC! ANY ONE WHO HAS AN ISSUE CAN FUCK AND FIGHT ME ABOUT IT!!" 

CG: SEE THAT? THAT IS WHY NO ONE WANTS TO HELP YOU, ASIDE FROM BEING FOOLHARDY AND FUCKING TREASONOUS YOU THROW A PITCH-FIT WHEN YOU DON'T GET YOUR "WWAY"". I'VE NEVER BEEN INSULTED SO POORLY, I MEAN REALLY STEP UP YOUR GAME. I MEAN, YOU'RE MAKING ME HATE YOU SOMETHING  _PLATONIC_ , BUT I GUESS THAT IS YOUR M.O.  


CG: BESIDES WHICH, I COULD DREDGE UP BETTER PUNS FROM THE FETID SAND PIT NEPETA CALLS A LOAD DESSICATOR, BUT HEY, YOU DO YOU, FISHFACE. 

CA: fuck you  


CG: NOT WITH THAT WEAK SHIT. GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT.   


 

\--arsenicCatnip [AC] is now online--

 

GC: 1 W4NT BOTH OF YOU TO KNOW YOU'R3 NOT FOOL1NG M3. 4ND YOUR MUTU4L 4NIMOS1TY 1S TH3 MOST S4CCH4R1N3, ST1CKY, BL4CKB3RRY FL4VOR3D HOT G4RB4G3 1'V3 H4D TH3 PL34SUR1 TO T4ST3. 

CA: you can fuck right off too.

CG: OH AND NOW WITH HER? WOW YOU MOVE QUICK! 

CA: i wwould literally rather wwalk off into enemy fire than continue this irrevverent back and fourth wwith you

GC: BUT YOU H4V3 SO MUCH TO L1V3 FOR!

CG: OKAY, OKAY, ENOUGH. I'VE ENJOYED THIS SO FAR, BUT AREN'T WE MISSING SOMEONE WHO WOULD PROBABLY GIVE HER LEFT PAW TO BE WATCHING THIS?  


GC: NOW, TH4T YOU M3NT1ON 1T, N3P3T4 1S RUNN1NG L4T3.

AC: :33< *The Apex purredator reveals her hiding spot, slinking out furom the shadow to reveal she's been here this whole time!*

GC: *TH3 SC4L3Y L3G1SL4C3R4TOR G4SPS 1N SHOCK 4T TH3 F3LON1OUS F3L1N3'S C4R3FUL ST4LK1NG!*

CG: *I SCUTTLE AROUND IN OBVIOUS FUCKING DISPLEASURE AT HAVING BEEN MADE A FOOL OF AND AM SURELY SECRETLY NOT A LITTLE PROUD OF THE CATGIRL FOR TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION*

CA: *the fish prince is too fuckin busy shooting to t

CG: .... YOU GONNA FINISH THAT? 

 

\--caligulasAquarium [CA] is now offline--

 

CG: UHHH

AC: :33< <:((C

GC: YOU KNOW H3'S D34D. 

CG: WELL SHIT. 

AC: :33< .... I mean he's purrobably okay? Right?

CG: YEAH.

CG: ANYWAY WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?

AC: :33< >:33c

**Author's Note:**

> Send in some asks folks!


End file.
